A Key to Choosing Wise Words

Thank technology for the “Undo Send” option when texting! That’s not something I’d ever thought I would be thankful for, but it’s true. To throw out some careless words that I knew I shouldn’t have, and then retrieve them before they are read is a sweet, sweet mercy.

But what if the text’s been read?

Then I’m all the way out of luck. Even if I intended to proverbially “stand on business” with my un-retrievable text, chances are I would not have said whatever it is that I said in that un-retrievable text in a face-to-face conversation.

Then why did I say it in the first place?

The heart of the godly thinks carefully before speaking. – Proverbs 15:28

Technology shows us that many thoughts can be communicated and cannot be retrieved, if it turns out that it was a mistake to have communicated those thoughts. But that has more to do with our hearts than our thumbs. And by that, I mean the intentions of our hearts.

James, the brother of Jesus, gives us great counsel in chapter 3 of his letter. Many writers in the book of Psalms and Proverbs also give this much needed counsel. I happen to think it’s deeper than that.

It’s far too easy to say the first or second thing that comes to mind when we feel some type of way about a person or issue. It takes great restraint to stop and consider the consequences of impulsivity. To consider if the issue is even worth going back and forth about.

It’s very true that words matter. Therefore, if we have a habit of speaking before thinking, I think that’s the real issue. Are we really bothered by what this person said? Do we need to correct that person at all? Will we remember this discussion before it becomes an argument by tomorrow? These are all questions I try to answer before deciding to respond.

My uncle said something to me back in the early 2010s that I have not forgotten: it’s not what a person says to you, it’s what you answer to. (Courtesy of W.C. Fields)