When Their Praise Paralyzes You

Is that a frightening title? To call oneself paralyzed, one must be humble and willing to be vulnerably weak. Is that you? I’m writing this blog with myself in mind and others on the backburners. So I mean every single word of this to be directly for me.

One summer day, while playing in a basketball game, I suffered a back injury to the point where back spasms left me laid out on the court. I had just grabbed a rebound, passed the ball out to another guard to push the ball, took a few steps and collapsed. Me knowing that I hadn’t slipped on anything, I mentally told myself to get up and trail the fast break. Only problem was that I couldn’t move. I was in fact paralyzed. Unable to feel the pain, the reality hit me like a ton of bricks. I could not move, and required assistance off the court. For those 10 seconds or so I felt somber, sad, and frightened all at once. I was vulnerable and everybody could see me. No mask to put on. No wall to hide behind. No other person to pretend to be. I just had to face the music.

Have you ever physically been paralyzed due to a spiritual longing to be recognized?

When I use the word paralyzed, I mean it in the most general sense without sole negative connotations. I’m simply taking about hearing words from someone you’ve desired to hear from more than anyone else and it makes you stop in your tracks….and stick your chest out and lift your head up. Or when you hear words from someone and it makes you feel inept and condemned unable to move forward. Has that ever happened to you?

Taking pleasure in people is what I call a way of life. Since we live in this world and are forced to be relational on some scale, we take pleasure in relationships with people and pets. This is in no way, shape, or form a bad thing. Unless it becomes our god. And that’s no small thing. Let me explain.

Beyond the terms of idolatry and adultery, we Christians risk splitting our allegiance and ultimately our hearts desire between the God who is and the god we create. In other words, we fashion our god, the idol, talk it up in our heads and hearts, speak highly of our idol every chance we’re given, spend the most intimate times with our idol, and promise to follow its lead at all cost. See what I mean? It’s no small thing. It’s a titanic sized thing. Our object of affection is no longer the Lord whom we are called to love with every fiber of our being; it’s our idol. We may as well be contestants on American Idol.

It’s that type of allegiance that paralyzes us. We either shine or desire to stand out to make much of ourselves, or we cower in the fear of not meeting one’s expectations. This is no way to live. Where’s the freedom in Christ we used to have? Why do return to the bondslave shackles that so easily entangle us from following our Lord and our God? How long will we continue to form these idols from our hearts? When will we consecrate our lives and limbs to the Creator? What will it take for us to experience godly submission?

These are just questions I’d ask of myself if this occurs to me. And I’m allowing you to look into my personal conversation.

#Christ #idol #selfesteem #Sufficiency